Don't pick on shy people, even those with a low tolerance for boredom!

As a lot of my friends are aware, I have spent a great deal of my time since February 2007 studying with the Open University and as a result have managed to achieve four HE qualifications. Even though achieving those has meant a great deal to me, there were some areas of studying that have remained a complete mystery to me. One rather important aspect is, well, the actual studying itself. Please don't get me wrong, I did put some effort into my degrees, but even as ill as I have been at times I suspect I could have put more effort in.

I found my report book from school a few months back and as I sit here reading it, I can honestly say that I haven't changed much in that particular area. Despite my utter disregard for doing my homework in lessons I found boring, it appears as though being quiet meant that teachers were fooled into thinking I was working hard. My maths teacher, for example, wrote: "Rebecca is a capable pupil. She has worked well throughout the year, taking a keen interest in the subject." I took such a keen interest I did not do a single piece of maths homework in four years. I suppose that was an improvement from "Rebecca is an intelligent pupil, but has an extremely low tolerance for boredom." from one of my primary school teachers.

My German teacher likewise heaped praise on me in my first year of high school, commenting "Top of the form. Well done!" he chose to go with sarcastic humour in my second year report, for a bit of a change: "Still excellent, though she did make one error in the oral exam (out of 70)". Hmm, thanks Mr Page! It was a little more deserved though, as I did actually do the work for that class. I do have a lingering soft spot for him though, due mostly to his highly entertaining behaviour on the ferry from Dover to Zeebrugge on the German exchange in 1987. It wasn't long after the Herald of Free Enterprise had capsized, killing 193 people; we passed her as we went into the port in the early hours of the morning. Some of us stood on deck as we sailed past that eerily lit-up ship and I remember Mr. Page saluting.

The German exchange itself proved quite difficult for me. I was still very shy at 13 and staying with a family who lived further out of Ingolstadt than anyone else, so the only time I saw any of the other exchange students from my school was during school hours or when we were out on coach trips. Added to that was the fact that Martina's mom was Polish and spoke no English, while I had only been studying German for a few months at that point and so struggled with the language barriers. Although her dad was fluent, he was often away on business trips or working long hours.

Still, I proved to be much better at German than I was at French, which I hated. My French teacher, Ms Jones, mistook shyness for reluctance to join in with classwork and lack of willingness to get involved in discussions. I will never understand why teachers insist in trying to force introverted or shy pupils to do something that is so painful. Believe me, it doesn't help. What it does for many shy students is ensure that for years afterwards, it is difficult to join in discussions. It took me a long time to reach the point where I could stand in front of a group of people and talk without spending hours vomiting - beginning from the day before all the way through to the point when I was ready to walk into the room where I would deliver the talk.

The final report in the book, written at the end of July 1989 concludes with my form tutor's comments "Rebecca's character has developed rapidly during the course of this year, at first rather  quiet but now much more aware of her own capabilities. She is a most pleasant young lady with an excellent sense of humour, always polite and most reliable." My form tutor was also my art teacher throughout my time at school, Tony Jones, who sadly died several years ago now, at much too young an age.

It is quite interesting to look back and see how my utter boredom with school is reflected in my marks, which get steadily worse as time goes on. By the time I reached the final year of school I had pretty much quit putting in any effort whatsoever. I remember having to stay up nearly all night before my mock art exam started because I hadn't done any prep work for it - and that was one of my favourite subjects. Imagine how much effort I put into classes like maths, which I loathed with a fiery passion...

I did put more effort into my degrees; it would be hard not to, considering just how little I managed to get away with doing at school. Even then, there were times that I got bored and just didn't do as much work as I could have done. Still *shrug* I did try much harder to focus on what I was doing, especially with the modules that I enjoyed.

Medication, Music and crossed fingers

Firstly, I would like to apologise for the absence on so many forums of late. As many people already know, I am going through a medication change for my fibromyalgia, which has been knocking me out. I am switching from pregabalin to gabapentin, as I was experiencing pronounced muscular jerking, which got worse as I increased the dose of pregabalin. My GP assures me that although this can be a side effect with the gabapentin, it is rare.

The gabapentin dose is slowly being increased until we hit the right level for me. I have to say that pain levels have already decreased a little; I am taking a total of 1500mg a day at the moment, spread out over three periods, with the option of increasing to 1800mg next Friday if I need to. I then have another appointment with my GP on the 23rd June to see how things are.

In theory I am supposed to be going to Glastonbury Festival on 24th June, as I won tickets via a competition. However, whether we actually make it there is highly debatable. Between my own health issues and Pete's current health issues it stands a good chance that we may not make it. I know that even if I am at my best, I would struggle; last time I went to a concert it was Motley Crue at the LG Arena (now Genting Arena) and even that wore me out. That was a few years back now and I have to say that I am worse now than I was then. Still, I am crossing fingers as there are a number of bands that I would LOVE to see.

I did take the time to have a good look through the accessibility information for Glastonbury. It is pretty good; there is an accessible camp ground with wheelchair accessible showers, disabled toilets and stewards to help erect tents and adult changing facilities. Wheelchair users and one PA/friend/relative can have passes to access the viewing towers that are scattered around the various stages. There is also a wheelchair accessible bus that can be used to get around and various other amenities that are laid on to help disabled people attending the festival. All in all it does sound as though they make a serious effort to make sure that it is an event that anyone can attend.

I know that even if I am at my (very rare) best and able to attend, I will spend most of the time lying down and just pay a few visits to see bands and the other sights. I also know that it would mean weeks, possibly months, of increased pain and debilitation. But...some things are worth the price you pay, you know.