One of the more annoying symptoms of fibromyalgia that I experience is insomnia. I know that to people who sleep properly and may occasionally experience a little bit of sleeplessness it may sound mild. It is not. Insomnia is a bitch of a symptom that wreaks havoc with your mind and body.
How can I describe fibro in a way that those who do not have it can understand? I am honestly not sure, but I will try this: imagine having influenza all the time. Not "I've got a cold but I'm going to say it's flu" but real, full-blown influenza. The constant ache throughout your muscles and joints, feeling like your finger joints have swollen to twice their normal size despite there being no visible sign of this. Add onto that the frequent and dreaded 'fibro fog' where your brain simply decides to quit on you. Short term memory vanishes, while words you use everyday pack their bags and walk out the door. The aches throughout the body are not mild, although I suppose they are for some. For me it is constant pain that just varies in intensity from "Holy shit, that hurts" through to "Someone please shoot me now".
In short there physically speaking, it is not a nice condition. There are a myriad of connected symptoms that vary from person to person and cannot be predicted.
For most of us the fatigue is a pretty major symptom to begin with, so adding the insomnia into it can drag you from mildly tired and a wee bit irritable to destroying the world with a single word, should any poor soul be silly enough to speak to you.
I have to say that having had only a couple of hours sleep, on top of the fatigue I already have, has actually left me too tired to be irritable. Or maybe I am just forgetting to be irritable.
Normally if I am going through a bad insomnia phase I sit in the living room (my version of sitting it often somewhere in between sitting and lying down) and do something productive and different. I will list something on ebay or draw, write, anything that is different and more interesting than lying in bed. I think the worst thing that an insomniac can do is just lie there in bed; if I do that, all I do is end up thinking and getting irritable that I cannot sleep. On the other hand if I sit/lye in the living room and do something it takes my mind off the fact that I cannot sleep. I start to get sleepy - and have been known to fall asleep sitting up....
I have had long discussions with my GP about insomnia and neither of us are keen on the idea of additional medication - not after I have worked so hard to cut so many meds out. Between us we have come to the conclusion that it is not necessarily that the pain increases if I have not slept, but rather that my ability to cope with it decreases dramatically.
So, after not sleeping well for a few days my body becomes even more sluggish than usual and my brain is not only slow, but also lowering my ability to cope with the pain I am in. Should I follow the advice of many OT's and not sleep during the day and hope against hope that results in me getting a good night's sleep? No thanks. Not for me, as I have been there and tried that. It really did not work for me, in fact it made things worse. I think everyone has to find their own coping technique, there cannot be a 'one technique fits all' approach from our support services. We are all individuals and deserve an individual approach to managing our symptoms, including insomnia.
Lastly, I apologise if this sounds a little off in places, or if I have wandered off topic, but I have had around five hours sleep in the past three days. I am a little brain-weary right now.
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