I have always struggled to maintain concentration on one subject. At school I could be sitting in a classroom and a passing cloud would completely capture me; I would have no clue what happened in the rest of the lesson because I had gone away into my own head, my own imagination. As an adult, I am forced to admit that nothing has changed.
I cannot do one thing at a time. I quite literally cannot. My mind is in too many places, jumping over all the possibilities, all the entertaining things that there are; things that I could be doing. I have never, ever been able to read 'just' one book at a time. I have several on the go at any one moment and will jump in and out of them at random, switching from story to story. In between I will draw, or watch TV or talk or...the list is endless.
I genuinely cannot say whether having fibromyalgia has changed this. If I try and think about it, try and focus for a minute, I think that nothing has changed that much. I still fit and have to be doing several different things at the same time. The only thing that really throws me is noise. I have never had much tolerance for noise - neither have my brother, or my mom - but now it is as though all noise blends into one. If there is background noise and you ask me a question, please do not expect an answer. All I will have heard is a random noise that will not have made much sense to me. A little like Charlie Brown's teacher where all you hear is "Wah, wah, wah, wah".
Mind you, saying that I'm sitting here typing one thing while having a conversation with Pete about people murdering apple trees (cutting them down), so maybe it is not quite as bad as I sometimes think.
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