To volunteer or not to volunteer? That is the question.

Huge apologies to people for vanishing slightly over the past week or so. We have just had one or two personal health issues that have cropped up and made life a little more interesting than usual. However I am not going to bore you with that, but instead ask for some opinions:

I began volunteering in 2008, completing a training course to become a tutor on the Chronic Disease Self Management course in February of that year. I delivered my first course in that April; that was the first time since I became ill in 2004 that I had felt as though I could still contribute in some way. Delivering the course actually felt really natural, as I did - and do - believe in the core ethics of the course, which are to help people develop techniques for managing their long-term condition. For those willing to put the effort in the techniques and ideas that crop up during each course can make a real difference and give you back some control, rather than feeling your condition controls you.

Initially I delivered courses back to back. Each session lasts two and half hours and each course last six weeks. It turned out that delivering courses back-to-back was a little too much for me, so I eased back a little. My health took a bit of a down-turn and I ended up back to being bed-bound. It had taken a lot of effort and time to get to the point where I had been able to spend two and half hours helping people and making a difference. I am sure you can imagine just how frustrating that was for me.

However I attended a number of award ceremonies for volunteers, gave talks to potential volunteers, trained as a tutor assessor and went to a number of additional courses. I loved every minute. Unfortunately, my health has continued to decline and I have not been able to deliver a course in the last twelve months. I received a letter last week asking me whether I wished to continue as a volunteer and stating if I did not get in contact my 1st May it would be assumed I no longer wished to do so.  I must admit that the letter upset me because of the tone, which to me seemed to be very formal and impersonal. I felt that given the length of time I had volunteered and that I thought I had a good relationship with the small paid team who organise everything, a quick phone call or a more personal and friendly letter could have dealt with the matter in a much better manner.

My real question is: should I continue as a volunteer in some way - we had discussed me continuing purely as an assessor - or should I call it a day? I have sent an email, explaining I had been waiting on the team as I thought they were sorting out either training or shadowing for me to continue as an assessor. I don't think that there is any way I can continue to deliver courses, no matter how much I love it. My health at the moment means that I cannot guarantee being well enough to go deliver a two-and-a-half hour course once a week for six weeks.