Is this the world's strangest motivation to exercise?

This is going to sound a little odd, so bare with me, I promise I will explain myself. As anyone who has known me for a while can testify, I am terrified of spiders. I don't mean that I shriek like a baby and squash the poor little arachnid, I mean I scream loud enough to wake the dead. Since I am fairly certain that none of us want zombies walking the earth, I would like to request that all spiders remain outside and do not enter my home.

Unfortunately at 4:00 am this morning, one particular spider decided that it did not want to stick with this restriction. My husband and I were sitting in the living room on the sofa, as lying down was - and is - causing quite a lot of pain around my rib cage. I glanced down at the floor, impersonated a boiling kettle and attempted to exit the room vertically, via the ceiling. It would appear that although me shoving the pouffe across the floor as I attempted to move my legs did cause the invader to pause momentarily, but it soon resumed the attack.

I promise that I am not exaggerating; it was the size of the palm of my hand. I am including the legs in that size estimation as, to me, they are the worst part of the spider. There is a strong possibility that the spiders do have a 'terrify her to death' contract out on me. There have been times in the past when it should not have been possible for any spider to confront me, but... Some eighteen years ago I was walking across a car park in West Bromwich with my mom after checking out a wedding dress shop - in the days before I got my wheels.The rain was torrential; I mean it was so strong that it was bouncing a good three inches off the floor when it hit. We were around a third of the way across the car park when something made me look down; a huge spider was sitting on the car park, in this terrible rain, giving me the evil eye. It is no exaggeration to say that I was both petrified and astounded to see this hairy-legged critter there.

Believe it or not, I am actually a lot better than I used to be. I once missed college because I couldn't get up the stairs to get showered or dressed, I have called friends round to dispose of them and once refused to sleep in my bedroom for several weeks because my dad had squashed a spider on the ceiling. To be fair that had left a spider-gut stain that I just couldn't cope with. I slept in one of the spare bedrooms until dad had disinfected and re-painted the ceiling. Yes, I am full-on phobic rather than a wee bit unnerved by them.

Yet there is something I am more afraid of than spiders; daddy long-legs (crane flies). Those things have lead to some far more dramatic room exits than the spiders. I once ran out of a meeting with senior managers at the DWP, back when I worked there, because a crane fly was dangly-legging its way round the room. Someone did eventually take pity and remove it, but not before everyone had laughed themselves silly.

Oddly this does have something to do with exercise and mobility. As you have probably guessed, it is a little difficult to scream like a siren and run out of the room when you can barely move. Add to that, I am certainly not sitting in my wheelchair all day, as my butt tends to go numb after a while. So, seeing that huge, monstrous beastie has given me motivation to carry on with my physio exercises in the hope that mobility will improve somewhat. 

I am continuing to be very careful about what I do and making sure that I don't go overboard with the physio. I will be honest and confess that I haven't yet started my yoga as I can't find the DVD. Yes, I know, bit of a lame excuse really as there are, no doubt, hundreds of low impact yoga videos on the internet. I do want to be careful though, hence the desire to stick with the DVD that JJ - the physio at my GP practice - recommended.

I hope that you are getting on with whatever challenges have cropped up in your life lately - and more than that - I hope that you are coping better with your fears than I am with my arachnophobia.

Warrant officers and power companies

I don't know about you guys, but it's definitely unusual to be awakened by the sound of someone hammering on a door and yelling "Warrant Officer - Scottish Power. Open up!" repeatedly. No, not our front door, thank goodness. It was the flat downstairs, but because it has been so muggy at night we have kept windows open in the hope that some stray breeze will find it's way in.

Rather, I should say that we have kept the windows on the vent opening because I am afraid of giant eight-legged beasties finding their way in during the night and eating me alive. Since my husband is not keen on moths, I have tried to say that keeping the windows like that is for his benefit. He pointed out that, unlike me, he tends to hit his fear with a newspaper, which makes them go away - it also makes them flat, but that's besides the point (apparently). I scream and make him catch my fears in a glass; unless that particular fear happens to be a crane fly - a daddy long-legs - in which case, please flatten and dispose as appropriate. Just don't bring it by me. Yes, yes, of course I believe that you are all a) braver than me and b) kinder to things that scare the shit out of you...

Anyway, just at the point the warrant officer appeared to be considering making his own way into the flat, our neighbour finally opened up, or rather his adult son did. As our neighbour works around 60 hours a week at an American Diner he tells me he co-owns in Bilston, he had left home around 6 a.m. leaving his son to deal with the visitors. Once a warrant has been issued  - in this case for non-payment of fuel bill - then the officer assigned by the fuel companies has a right to enter the premises, under British legislation.

Because of the circumstances the engineers who had attended detached/removed the existing metres while the warrant officer looked on. A lot of questions were asked by our neighbour, quite sensibly, and prior to leaving the premises a new pre-paid metre was fitted. I must admit I did think that there was a small flaw in this system as my neighbour was told that he will need to phone a specific number to request a pre-payment card, which will be posted out. Once it arrives he then needs to insert it into the metre in order to 'marry' the two up. He can then start putting money on the card.

My first thought was that they were not going to have any light downstairs. My second thought was that the flat owner was not going to be happy at the pre-payment metre being installed, as the neighbours downstairs are tenants. I did then hear it explained that the metre had £20 already on it to tide them over until the card arrives.

Hearing all this downstairs did get me thinking; in order to reach this stage, the power company will have tried numerous contacts both via post and telephone. There will have also been a court hearing, that you will have been notified of and have a right to attend. The Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) has current information on what to do if you find yourself in circumstances where you cannot pay your bill. The reality is that power supply companies do not want to cut off their customers. They would much rather an agreement was worked out for you to pay what you owe in affordable monthly amounts. One part of this could be that the power company insists that you have a pre-payment metre installed in order to prevent any future build up of debt. While this does mean that you will be able to keep on top of payments, as you probably know from various television reports, fees for power delivered through a pre-payment metre can be higher.

If you do find yourself in this situation and are struggling to deal with the power company yourself, please seek advice from the CAB or a similar service.

Phobias and how my worst phobia began

My big confession: I once left a country because of a spider; or, strictly speaking, a principality.

I have one of the most common phobias around; arachnophobia. Even just thinking about spiders makes me shiver and my flesh crawl as though hundreds of little eight-legged creatures are running all over my body. Believe it or not I actually have an even bigger fear, one that really came about while I was in High School; Crane Flies. I am actually more scared of crane flies, also known as daddy long-legs here in Britain, than I am of spiders and believe me that takes some doing.

I had actually thought that I was getting a little better with spiders, however when one approximately half the size of the palm of my hand ran across the living room floor two nights ago I screamed loud enough to wake the dead. Because the spider ran under the sofa and Pete was unable to catch him, I insisted on being taken into the bedroom and refused to come back in. Even now, two days later, I still keep on checking my legs to make sure that nothing is crawling on me.

I know without doubt though that I will never get any better with daddy long-legs. September is a hellish time of year for me, as it always spawns hundreds of them and they all seem to try and fly straight at my face. I said that this particular fear came about while I was at High School and I was being honest. For anyone that remembers what the layout was like at Crestwood School during the late Eighties and early Nineties, picture the grey mobile classroom building around the back of the school; I think it was near the domestic science classrooms. Come September the entire end of that particular mobile would be absolutely covered with daddy long-legs. When I say covered, I do mean covered. Quite literally heaving with them, barely a millimetre between each of those that were settled on the building, while others crawled over them to try and find a place in the sun.

For a period of time that mobile was my form room and I had to go into that building every single day. Later on I had lessons there one day a week, in the afternoon immediately after lunch. Anyone who remembers that particular lesson will remember me begging people to hold open the doors while I built up my courage to run from the side of the main building past the crawling end of the mobile, up the steps and through the door. Since then I have viewed them with all the fear attached to spiders, with the additional horror that they fly....

At one point my phobias were so bad that they were having a detrimental effect on my life. I worked hard to try and get over them, but only managed to get so far. I simply cannot get past this point and the reaction I had to the spider from two days ago (the reaction I am still having) has shown me that I do actually need to try and find a way to at least reduce the level of fear that I feel. So, if anyone out there knows a good method of dealing with phobias I would love to hear about it.