Can anyone come up with an explanation as to why someone who has arachnophobia insists on watching movies with killer spiders in? While I laugh at the movies, which are more often than not deliberately comical, I still end up waking up in the night thinking that I can feel spiders crawling over me. I can feel their nasty little legs crawling over my body, but of course when I turn the light on and have a look - ready to have a full-blown panic attack - there is nothing there.
As I type this I am torturing myself by watching the delightfully amusing Big Ass Spider! (Mendez, 2013). The movie follows the day of pest exterminator Alex Mathis (Greg Grunberg, Heroes) who, because he is far to nice, often gets paid in fruit cake rather than cash. His first customer panics when she sees a Brown Recluse spider on his shirt, tries to hit with a shoe causing it to bite him. His day goes south from that point after a corpse containing a nasty surprise is mistakenly sent to the hospital where he is being treated.
The big ass spider created by the military scientists grows at a phenomenal, rate as it is pursued through New York by both the military and Alex. The film is, alternately, amusing and gross. I don't care whether a melting face is done with stop-motion or CGI, it is still gross to watch. Still, the film is entertaining overall and well worth watching during those times when you just want to veg out and not have to think too hard for a little while. I won't tell you whether Alex ends his day alive, dead, getting the girl or going home alone. Watch it and find out!
As for me, well I can almost guarantee that there will fog-filled streets where spiders the size of houses lurk, unseen and deadly, awaiting me in my dreams when I finally fall asleep. Why on earth do you think I am still wide-awake at 3:45a.m?
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